Lesson on love from a five year old (you-know-who).

J surprises me. Oh well, what's new. His latest comments, delivered with all the wisdom a five year can muster.
We were talking about friends and he says "How can my buddy Josh know that I love cars?"
"Because you're friends and friends know what their friends like and dislike."
"But how?"
"Because you love each other and you know each other."
Now this friend is so dear to J that the other day he came home, dropped his backpack and announced that he need to make a note for Josh.I handed him the paper and pencil and he wrote "Dear Josh, I am your best friend. I love you. By J."
I thought it was cute that he should say "I am your best friend" instead of "You are my best friend." An assumption that only a kindergartner can make, of how important he is to another kid. Vanity, yes, but of the purest variety.
But today, he said,
"I love Josh even though he's sometimes bad to me."
"Well, friends aren't supposed to treat you badly. nobody should. and you must say so -- you don't have to play with Josh if he's being mean."
"No mom, I'm his best friend. So even if he's mean, I'm his friend. Thats the promise I made and gave him. For him to keep, always." And J went back to driving his Lego car. I was so amazed. How early in life J has understood what the act of 'loving' really entails. And even though he's so young, he recognizes it and is willing not just to love his friend, faults and all (though I intend to talk to him about not letting anyone take him for granted or be rude to him) but also to recognize that this is part of his promise. He meant it when he said, "I am your best friend." This is his gift to Josh; vanity would have been for J to appropriate Josh and say, "You are my best friend." Instead, he simply gave his promise. And the vanity I identified? Any vanity came from my personal store of it, and certainly it caused confusion. J is the one who has it figured out.